Tuesday, February 13, 2007

A guy and a gal after having sex in the backseat of the car

A guy and a gal were in the backseat of his car after having sex. The guy says to the gal, "If I would have known you were a virgin I would have taken more time." The gal replies, "Hell, if I'd a known you had more time, I'd a taken off my pantyhose.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dead pussy


An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

GRAB MY BREASTS

She goes into Walmart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!

"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"

The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager.The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?" She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!" ---

Her money was refunded ...............

Donna in the bus

Donna rides the bus to work every day. Todayshe's in some discomfort because she has a pain inher lower abdomen. She finally realizes that itsjust a tremendous build up of gas from somethingshe ate. The bus is quite crowded and she doesn'tknow what to do. Then she remembers that prettysoon the bus will run across some railroad tractsand it will rattle and bang and make lots ofnoise. She will be able to pass this gas andnobody will know.

What she doesn't know is that the bus driver alsorides the bus everyday and has grown tired of allthe noise the bus makes when it rattles and bangsacross the railroad tracts. So last night hestayed after work and had the maintenance crewtighten up all the loose bolts and lubricate allthe moving parts to quiet down the old bus.

Well, here come the railroad tracts, Donnaraises up on one cheek and lets it rip. It wasone long, loud, juicy sounding fart. The busdidn't rattle and bang like it usually did and nowyou could hear a pin drop inside the bus aseverybody started looking around.

Donna thought that maybe no one knew whodid it and that she should just act natural. Shethought she should just start a conversation withsomeone as if nothing had happened. She leanedover to the man sitting across the aisle andcasually asked him, 'Do you have a transfer?'He politely responded, 'No I don't, but the nexttree we pass I will try and grab you a handful of leaves....'